Burnout Isn’t Your Fault: A Neurodivergent Woman’s Guide to Thriving, Not Just Surviving
Oct 20, 2024
Why Burnout Feels Different for Neurodivergent Women
Burnout doesn’t care who you are—it shows up uninvited like the world’s worst houseguest. But for neurodivergent women? It feels like it’s got your address on speed dial. Between masking, sensory overload, and navigating a neurotypical world that loves a good checklist (ugh), it’s no wonder burnout feels inevitable.
Let’s dig into why this happens and, more importantly, how you can move from just surviving to actually thriving—on your terms.
What Exactly Is Burnout?
Burnout isn’t just being tired. It’s that deep, bone-weary, “why am I even doing this?” kind of exhaustion that comes from prolonged stress.
Why neurodivergent women are more at risk:
- Masking: Constantly camouflaging your neurodivergent traits is like running an emotional marathon every day.
- Sensory Overload: That fluorescent light, the chatter, the tag in your shirt—it all adds up.
- Executive Dysfunction: Trying to function in a world that expects you to “just do it” when your brain says, “Nah.”
- Perfectionism: Let’s not forget the pressure to do everything flawlessly. (Spoiler: You don’t have to.)
The Red Flags of Burnout
Burnout doesn’t hit you like a meteor—it’s sneaky. Here’s what to watch for:
- Emotional Exhaustion: That feeling where even thinking about getting out of bed feels like too much.
- Physical Symptoms: Headaches, chronic fatigue, or that fun combo platter of both.
- Irritability: Snapping at your partner because they breathed too loudly? Yep, that’s burnout.
- Loss of Interest: The stuff you usually love feels like a chore.
Recognizing these signs early is like spotting a “Bridge Out Ahead” sign—it gives you time to course-correct.
The Energy Buckets Strategy
Here’s the deal: You only have so much energy, and it’s divided into three buckets—Emotional, Physical, and Social. If one bucket’s empty, you’re in trouble.
How to manage your buckets:
-
Emotional Energy:
- What drains it: Problem-solving, managing emotions, masking.
- How to refill it: Try Brainspotting or mindful self-compassion practices (more on this in a sec!).
-
Physical Energy:
- What drains it: Sensory overload, movement, even just existing sometimes.
- How to refill it: Take sensory breaks, do light stretching, or try grounding exercises.
-
Social Energy:
- What drains it: Interactions, even positive ones.
- How to refill it: Schedule downtime, practice setting boundaries, use my energy tracker tool, or connect with someone who “gets” you.
Pro tip: Don’t wait until a bucket’s completely empty to refill it. That’s a recipe for a burnout cocktail.
Mindful Self-Compassion: The Burnout Balm
I know what you’re thinking: “Be kind to myself? Yeah, right.” But hear me out. Mindful self-compassion is like giving your brain a big ol’ hug—and it works.
Try this 3-step practice:
- Acknowledge Your Pain: Place your hand on your chest and say, “This is hard, and that’s okay.”
- Recognize Common Humanity: You’re not alone. Everyone struggles; it’s part of being human.
- Talk to Yourself Like a Friend: Ask yourself, “What would I say to someone I love in this situation?” Now, say that to yourself.
Aligning with Your Values (Because ACT Says So)
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) has this amazing tool called living by your values. Basically, it’s about making choices that bring you closer to the things that matter most.
Here’s how to do it:
- Identify Your Values: Connection, creativity, authenticity—whatever lights you up.
- Ask Yourself: “Is what I’m doing right now moving me closer to these values?”
- Adjust as Needed: If the answer’s no, it’s time to pivot.
Living aligned with your values isn’t about being perfect (thank goodness). It’s about making tiny, meaningful choices every day.
One Last Thing: Thriving Takes Practice
Thriving isn’t some magical place you arrive at—it’s a practice. You’re not broken; you’re beautifully different, and that difference is your strength.
Tip of the Day: Start small. Pick one thing—a 5-minute sensory break, a quick journaling session, or saying “no” to one thing today—and build from there.
Ready to Start Thriving? Let’s Work Together!
If you’re nodding along, thinking, “Okay, I need more of this in my life,” I’ve got you covered. If you are a therapist yourself, join my Neurodivergent Clinicians Membership for body-doubling sessions, resources, and a supportive community that gets it. Or let’s dive deeper with 3 hr intensive therapy session or a coaching session, where we’ll create a roadmap tailored to you. Using Brainspotting, Parts Work and ACT, we can provide you with what you need to come out of the burn out stage.
Let’s make thriving your new normal.
– Dawn Leprich-Graves, LCPC, LPC, PMH-C, ASDCS Clinician, Coach and Connection Catalyst
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