Why Perfectionism Isn’t Helping: Letting Go and Embracing Good Enough

The Perfectionism Trap

Raise your hand if you’ve ever scrapped a project because it wasn’t perfect. Or rewritten an email ten times because “it just didn’t sound right.” (No judgment—I’ve been there!)

For neurodivergent women, perfectionism can feel like a double-edged sword. On one hand, it drives us to excel. On the other, it keeps us stuck in a cycle of overthinking and self-doubt. Let’s talk about how to let go of perfectionism, embrace “good enough,” and rediscover the joy in doing things your way.

What Drives Perfectionism in Neurodivergent Women?

Perfectionism isn’t just about wanting things to look nice—it’s often rooted in deeper fears and pressures.

Common causes include:

1. Masking: The pressure to appear competent and capable at all times.
2. Fear of Judgment: Worrying that mistakes will make you look unworthy or incapable.
3. Hyperfocus: Spending endless hours refining something that was probably fine five versions ago.

Sound familiar? You’re not alone.

The Cost of Perfectionism

While striving for excellence isn’t inherently bad, perfectionism can come at a cost:

• Burnout: Spending endless energy chasing an impossible standard.
• Paralysis: Procrastinating or avoiding tasks because they feel overwhelming.
• Missed Opportunities: Waiting for the “perfect moment” often means not taking action at all.

Here’s the truth: Perfect doesn’t exist.

The 80/20 Rule: Redefining Success

Tip: Adopt the 80/20 rule, which says that 80% of your results come from 20% of your effort.

• Instead of chasing perfection, aim for “done” and refine later if needed.
• Ask yourself: “Does this meet the goal? If yes, it’s good enough.”

Practical Strategies for Letting Go of Perfectionism

1. Set “Good Enough” Standards
Define what “good enough” looks like for each task or project. For example:

• A rough draft of a blog post? Good enough.
• Responding to emails within 24 hours? Good enough.

2. Celebrate Progress Over Perfection
Keep a “wins” list to remind yourself of what you’ve accomplished—even if it wasn’t flawless.

3. Use Time Limits
Set a timer for tasks like editing or organizing. When the timer goes off, you’re done—                         No exceptions!

4. Get Comfortable with Feedback
Remember, feedback is a tool for growth, not an attack on your worth.

Identifying Perfectionism with Self-Compassion

Perfectionism often arises as a protective part within us, striving to shield our vulnerable self from criticism or failure; by approaching this part with curiosity and self-compassion, we can honor its intentions while inviting balance and gentleness into our lives.

Practice this self-compassion exercise:

• Write a letter to your perfectionist part from a compassionate perspective.

•  Acknowledge its efforts, thank it for its role, and gently suggest ways you can work together to find balance.

The Joy of Imperfection

When you unburden perfectionism, you make space for creativity, spontaneity, and joy. It’s not about lowering your standards—it’s about honoring your parts, time, energy, and unique way of doing things.

Ready to Embrace “Good Enough”? Let’s Talk!

If perfectionism is holding you back, I can help. Join my coaching program for neurodivergent women to learn actionable strategies for unburdening perfectionism and building confidence in your unique strengths.

Let’s celebrate your beautifully imperfect journey.
– Dawn Leprich-Graves, LCPC, LPC, PMH-C, ASDCS                                                             Clinician, Coach & Connection Catalyst