Boundaries Aren’t Just for Clients: A Therapist’s Guide to Saying No Without Guilt

Introduction: Boundaries? For Me?

If you’re a therapist, you probably talk about boundaries all the time—with clients. But let’s be honest: When it comes to setting boundaries in your own life, things can get… tricky. Guilt creeps in, people-pleasing takes over, and before you know it, you’re saying “yes” to things you have no bandwidth for.

Boundaries aren’t just good for your clients—they’re essential for you, too. Let’s explore why therapists (especially neurodivergent ones) struggle with boundaries, how to set them effectively, and how they can actually help your practice thrive.

Why Therapists Struggle with Boundaries

Therapists are helpers by nature. Add neurodivergence to the mix—like heightened empathy or difficulty saying no—and the struggle gets real. Here’s why:

1. Empathy Overload: You feel your clients’ struggles deeply and want to be there for everyone.
2. Fear of Disappointing Others: Saying no feels like letting someone down.
3. Perfectionism: You want to be the best therapist, colleague, parent, and friend, all at once.

The problem? When you don’t set boundaries, you risk burnout—and that doesn’t help anyone.

The Neuroscience of Boundaries

Boundaries aren’t just a buzzword—they’re a way to protect your nervous system. When you say yes to too many things, your stress levels skyrocket, keeping you in a constant state of fight-or-flight. Setting boundaries gives your brain and body the space they need to regulate.

Tip: Practice polyvagal grounding exercises when you feel overwhelmed to reset your nervous system.

How to Set Boundaries Without the Guilt

Ready to set boundaries but worried about the guilt? Start with these steps:

1. Identify Your Limits: What’s draining you? Is it late-night texts from clients, double-booking sessions, or over-committing to projects?
2. Communicate Clearly: Use “I” statements to express your needs. For example, “I need to reserve my evenings for rest.”
3. Practice Saying No: It’s a complete sentence, but if that feels too abrupt, try: “I’m unable to commit to this right now, but thank you for thinking of me.”
4. Anticipate Pushback: Some people might not like your boundaries—and that’s okay. Stick to your values.

The Boundary-Setting Script You Need

Let’s take the guesswork out of it. Here’s a script you can adapt:

• When Clients Ask for Exceptions:
  • “I understand how important this is to you, and I want to provide the best support I can. My policy is [insert boundary], and this helps me stay fully present for our sessions.”
• When Colleagues Want Too Much of Your Time:
  • “I’d love to help, but my current schedule doesn’t allow for that. Maybe we can revisit this later.”

The Ripple Effect of Boundaries

When you set boundaries, you’re modeling healthy behavior for your clients, showing them it’s okay to prioritize their own needs. Plus, boundaries help you stay energized and focused, which leads to better therapy sessions and a more sustainable practice.

Learn to Set Boundaries Like a Pro

If you’re ready to master boundary-setting, learn more about the coaching packages, courses and workshops I have to offer. You’ll walk away with practical tools to protect your energy, support your clients, and avoid burnout.

Let’s make guilt-free boundaries your new norm.
– Dawn Leprich-Graves, LCPC, LPC, PMH-C, ASDCS                                                                 Clinician, Coach & Connection Catalyst